You've heard the old saying, "Location, Location, Location," right? Of course, everybody has!

Well, forget it, it's a bunch of crap. Unless you have three million bucks to spend, you'd better be ready to take what you can get. Shall we elaborate?

EXHIBIT A: Lawnmowers. One day, this woman ran her lawnmover during the entire shoot, just because she didn't like her neighbors, whose house we were filming at. That patch she's mowing? She mowed it over and over again for half an hour. She also talked the landlord into running his green tractor mower in the other adjacent yard, just to be sure.

EXHIBIT B: Jets. We live, and did a lot of our shooting, near Naval Air Station Oceana.

EXHIBIT C: Fire alarms. Twice, during indoor shoots, we inadvertently tripped fire alarms and had serious explaining to do. On a third occasion, the fire department was called out by a passing motorist with a cell phone when we lit a small fire by the side of a road.

EXHIBIT D: Law enforcement. Virtually nothing we did we had permission, permits, or authorization for. We had cops telling us to move our cars, asking us "What's going on, here?", telling us to leave, and, in the picture on the left, one of our own neighbors called the cops on us when we were shooting in our driveway.

Time to move on. The last, magical element you need to make your movie is:

EQUIPMENT >