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In case you weren't sufficiently enlightened by the section of the website confusingly named The Film, we offer you this wonderful step-by-step guide to filmmaking, including the requirements and potential pitfalls, so that you too can make your very own movie! Our first topic is:

Now this is a subject about which there is considerable misinformation. As an aspiring filmmaker, you are bound to be inundated with misleading messages about film budgets, actor salaries, production costs, and the like--to the point where you may find yourself in a position of some desperation about how to fund your project. Hollywood budgets, after all, are in the tens to hundreds of millions of dollars, according to what we hear on the "news" and through "reliable sources." But this is simply not the case. According to a March study from the International Society for Accountability in Industrial Film, published in the April 2002 issue of The Truth, film studios regularly exaggerate their production costs in order to obtain tax relief, and in order to disguise the genuine destination of the scores of millions of dollars of investor money: a dangerous and exorbitant psychic-mutant breeding program designed to create a new race of drones to terraform neighboring planets for human colonization. Almost none of this money is required to make the actual movies, and the widely-held belief that movies are expensive to make is an insidious myth which our box-office dollars are helping to propagate. In order to test this notion, therefore, we conceived, wrote, produced, and filmed a full-length Hollywood feature film in Virginia Beach, Virginia and, using all the same production values they use, accomplished the feat for under $9,000. Do not be deceived; do not be deluded; do not be denied. Movies aren't expensive! Movies only cost $9,000.

To begin you will need: